It has been a while so I thought I would drop you a line. I want you to know that even though you have put yourself out there in front of me every single day in the past 3 weeks, I have been able to keep my chubby little hands off of you! It’s not that I have not been tempted by you because I have. This past week I have to admit I have missed you more than any other time. I thought about just giving in and taking advantage of your chocolaty goodness, after all who would know besides you and I? We have had so many secret meetings over the years and the only proof left behind has been directly attached to my ass. At first it is subtle, a pound here a pound there, but eventually everyone starts noticing. Then all of a sudden everyone knows about my infidelity and I cannot hide it anymore. Many times this past week I have thought about having just one more fling with you…for old times sake. The problem is that now every monday, I have to weigh in. It will definitely show my guilt when I step on the scale if I choose to fall into your seductive sweetness. Honestly, I believe this is the longest we have ever been apart 26 days! Who would have thought I could be so strong? Every time I open my fridge I look at the special shelf that was yours and it has now been taken over by sugar free and fat free goodies. The difference is that I do no have to hide them behind all of the condiments so my kids do not eat them. It was always so hard just keeping your hugs and kisses to myself. I should have felt worse about it and shared…but I didn’t.
One last thing that is very important! Angie went and visited her great Granny this past week. Hershey’s you gave her Granny a certificate for being the best customer ever and turning 100 years old. Now I know she has probably eaten her fair share of chocolate over the past 100 years. Could you please just calculate out my chocolate consumption over the last 36 years and count it toward the next 64? I know for sure if you will do that then I will be worthy of the certificate as well and I am even positive I will have consumed the most chocolate of anyone else who has ever received a certificate from you. If you feel it necessary to bring me my certificate sooner than my 100th birthday, because of my massive consumption of your chocolate. I will certainly understand and willingly accept my certificate early for being the youngest person to consume the most chocolate ever.